How to ruin a camera salesman’s mood

***Warning: This particular entry has almost nothing to do with the “1000 pieces of free art in 2013” project. If this is your first time reading this blog, or you don’t know me personally then I would not recommend you start here, or even this entry at all.  There you have been warned.*****

Considering the fact that this project is very heavily based on photos, the equipment I have is not really up to par. In fact its a hunk of crap.

I decided that I need to get a decent camera, especially for taking pictures of artworks on the streets, and even more so at night. So as luck would have it a few days ago there was a camera posted on Groupon that was above and beyond what I needed and I thought was in my price range. After a very short review of my finances I discovered that it was not in my price range at all actually.  Okay, so that was not the camera for me, but I still needed one so I perused the website for something that was a bit closer to my price range.  After going through a few pages I actually found something that was more suitable to me and was considerably cheaper.  That was it….I had found my camera. It looked like this:


Now I do have a day job, I am not exactly a starving artist, but the last few months have a been a bit difficult financially and spending this kind of cash on a camera at this exact moment in time is…. well its just no wise. But I need to get some good photos and I need ’em now. So my first free minute today I ran out of the house and took the bus down to the camera store. I knew the model number, the price, read the reviews and I was ready to buy this thing. Now I am usually a bit impatient when it comes to things like this but I was even more so because someone is writing an article about this project and I found myself short on quality pictures to give them. I gave what I could but I figured that if I could get this camera tonight I could take a few great pics of some of my favorite pieces and get them into him just before the 9am deadline tomorrow morning.  So I finally make it to the camera store and this is how it goes down:

Clerk: שלום
Me: היי, מה שלומך. אתה מדבר אנגלית?

Clerk: Yes of course I do, How can I help?
Me: Great I would like to buy this camera (forgot the piece of paper with the model number but somehow remembered it anyways), the Fujifilm s2980. Do you have that in stock?
Clerk:It looks like we have it at another store. I can order it for you and it will be here tomorrow.
Me: Um… yeah I am going to need something tonight. What can you recommend to me?
(now I can see he is starting to get excited because this sale is a sure thing)

Clerk: Yeah we have a similar model that is a little bit better actually and is only about 8o shekels more expensive
Me: Can you show me the specs?
Clerk: Yes of course (he turns the computer screen towards me and begins to list of a whole bunch of stuff that I don’t really understand)
Me: Sounds good. Great. Nice. Looks good. Oh it has one of those? Sweet. I will take it. Does it come with a case?
Clerk: No.
Me: Can you give me a deal on a case?
Clerk: Let me see what I can find? Yeah here is a nice case. I can give it to you for 30% off the sticker price
Me: Great, throw that sucker in. How about a memory card?
Clerk: What size?
Me: I don’t know. 8GB
Clerk: Take it for 60 shekels.
Me: How about one of those Gorilla pods? You got one of those?
Clerk: Yeah but you are going to need to the heavy duty one because your camera is a bit larger than your average point and shoot.
Me: Great, throw that in as well. Alright how many payments can I do on this without interest?
Clerk: 5
Me: Put it on 5 my good man….. if my card actually goes through *laugh*
Clerk: *Runs card* ( I can see his mood instantly change) Your card did not go through.
Me: No worries…my wife has my other credit card, let me just give her a ring and you can speak to her *dial phone*. Hey Talli, give this dude the credit card info so I can grab this camera real quick, thanks dude. (yes I call my wife dude).

Clerk:  איזה סוג של כרטיס זה? ויזה? עכשיו גדול תני לי את המספר הכרטיס, תאריך התפוגה, ומספר תעודת הזהות של בעל הכרטיס.
*looks up at me*
It didn’t go through.
Me: Ha, well that sucks. Give me the phone. Hey Talli, let me call you back in a minute. *hang up the phone*. Okay camera sales guy, can you put this on hold for me?

(please note that everything that happens from this point forward the clerk’s mood has completely dropped…. and I ain’t too happy myself).

Clerk: Sure I can put it on hold for you. Are you coming back tonight?
Me: Ha! No. How would I even.. no I will not be back tonight. You are going to have to give me at least 4 days until payday. I will be here on the 10th.
Clerk: Okay.

And that was that…. I puffed up his sails and then knocked the wind right of them. I feel a bit bad because it sucks to lose a sale but I thought it was a funny and interesting exchange.

Its all good. I mean I need a camera to make this project really what it can be but for the next few days (at least) I will be delivering grainy subpar hazy low quality imagery and that is jut the best I can do for now. On a brighter note I found a bunch of awesome stuff to paint on and I am working on some awesome new things that I will post as soon as I get that camera.

Much much love and peace from the Middle East,

Noah Zark—-


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